Welcome to Wing's World

High atop a house in white
Chirping hate throughout the night
The message clear about the quest
Enhance the power, divide the rest
White, black, yellow, brown
So much unrest across our towns
Civil protests to take a stand
To stop brutality across the land
Among the lies spout from the tongue
The harmless plague that we succumb
Ruined lives beyond repair
Still more to come of this despair
We must stand together, no fear, no hate
And start to heal, it is not too late
Throughout mankind the greatest sin
The fail to see beyond ones skin
No matter how you think you are bred
Beneath the skin, we All bleed Red

Growing reputation, fear, Intimidation
Czar like fascination, control and Domination

Polarized nation, filled with Trepidation
Selfish declarations, threatened Constitution

Disgraceful execution, BLM Evolution
Civil demonstration, antagonist Escalation

Historical election, family Fragmentation
Weak mind manipulation, a united divided Nation

Political deception, voter right Suppression
Fraud amid corruption, deadly Insurrection

Hope and inspiration the final Confirmation
Resurgence of a nation protect from Self-Destruction

It seems apparent the level of stupidity is rising at an alarming rate. For the life of me I do not understand the addiction to social media and the incessant need to check for updates of every minute of every day. To that point, each day I witness countless people looking down at their phones while driving. What could possibly be so important that you have to put other people’s lives in danger? The answer is simply nothing. If there is an emergency, chances are you will receive a phone call. So to those of you who think the world will stop if you don’t see what someone is having for breakfast, lunch, dinner, what someones cat is doing, or anything that involves checking social media while you are behind the wheel, please STOP. Checking or answering those tweets, twits, chirps, texts, emails, dings, rings, or dongs while driving is putting lives in danger.

During my downtime (code for still looking for a job) I have continued to do some coaching.  A recent conversation got me asking what has happened to common sense leadership?  The coaching conversation focused on what this person could do to increase the level of interaction they have with their new leader.  A little background is necessary, an existing leader with another business unit was brought in to lead the team.  While that in and of itself is nothing new, this person had little to no experience or understanding of the business. 

An initial conference call was held to introduce the new leader to the team and during that call my coachee offered to help the new leader get up to speed and enhance their understanding so they could be as effective as possible.  The leader did not respond or acknowledge and simply made a “moving on” statement.  Thinking it was probably a case of the new leader being overwhelmed, an email was sent reiterating the offer to help.  Again, no reply.  The first month went by with no communication from the leader.  Having some challenges with a customer, the person called the leader and left a message requesting a call back as some guidance was needed.  A week goes by and that call was followed up with an email asking for assistance.  Crickets.  So now this person is thinking they did something wrong and is worried they offended the leader.  With limited options they reached out to a teammate who shared the same frustration.  Adding bad to worse the leader sent a note to cancel their monthly team conference calls not once but twice citing they were too busy with other priorities.  Fed up with the lack of direction, the team members started to hold calls on their own to keep everyone in the loop on the business and support one another.  That included making decisions that were above their pay grade. 

So where did all this go wrong with a leader who works for a company that boasts a world class leadership development training program?  Perhaps this person had other priorities or didn’t feel they needed to attend.  Either way, here is some commonsense leadership advice for new or existing leaders taking over a team:

1. Send a note to the new team introducing yourself and schedule time for an introductory meeting,
2. Hold the meeting as soon as possible and plan enough time for everyone to introduce themselves,
3. Share things they may not know about you, let them know your leadership style, your preferred method of communication, how you celebrate successes, how you react to bad news, etc., etc. (this list could go on and on),
4. Schedule one to one meetings with each direct report to learn more about them e.g. personal (within the law of course), goals, style, needs, challenges, aspirations, etc.,
5. Respond in a timely manner to texts, emails and voicemails (can’t believe I have to say that), and
6. Finally, treat your team the way you want them to treat you.

I would bet the majority of you have heard of Murphy’s Law. Specifically, it states…”things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance,” or more commonly, “whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.”

I prefer a more balanced approach called O’Toole’s Rule.

That simply states….Murphy is an optimist!

Where have manners and consideration gone?  While there are countless examples I could provide, I will go with the most recent.  I thoroughly enjoy attending Broadway shows and go in hoping the cell phone checking, soda slurping, popcorn munching, ice eating, candy crunching, wrapper wranglers have come to their senses and finally realize how they are impacting others around them.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand selling outrageously priced snack foods substantially adds to overall revenue to help pay the bills. However, is it too much to ask that all noise generating wrappers and food be consumed BEFORE entering the seating areas? 

I guess I need different seats as it seems I always end up surrounded by people who have the incessant need to constantly eat, jiggle ice cubes and/ or mangle the popcorn bag or candy wrappers.  What is interesting is they appear totally oblivious to how sound amplifies.  Particularly in a venue suited for good acoustics. 

While it is certainly within the rights of any paying customer to enjoy the various treats offered by the venue, isn’t it also a right for the other paying customers to enjoy the show with minimal distractions? A recent play and the lead actress is in the middle of the aria. The audience is captivated. She pauses and just as she is about to finish the song, some moron slurps the last bit of soda from his cup then shakes the ice to try and free up more liquid. Really? Can someone actually be that ignorant. Unfortunately, the answer is a resounding Yes.

So to those who attend the theater, cinema or any social event that may require a quiet environment or moment during a performance, and you fall into the ISG (incessant snacking group), please show some consideration for those around you.  If not, then it is a good bet the side looks, head turns, evil eyes and throat clearing ahems are probably directed at you.

P.S. Shut your phone OFF!  The vibrate feature is just as annoying as the ringing.

One day I was watching a news show reporting on extremist groups and the question was raised….”why do people knowingly join extremist groups focused on hurting others?” That got me wondering….is religion and racism born out of the same context and perhaps both early forms of brainwashing?

I raise this question not to offend or attack the values and beliefs of others. Rather, to explore the concept if people are not born with a hereditary predisposition toward a particular belief or value, their actions therefore appear to be learned behaviours. The most obvious examples that came to mind were centered around spiritual affiliation or participation in hate groups. These both appear to be learned behaviors.

Similar to how people are taught to talk, read and write, they are also taught love, hate, faith, etc. Therefore, it does not really matter where a person is born as that person will be exposed to, and raised with beliefs and values very close to ones parents, guardians or caregivers.

In some cases, we don’t have a choice as we are taught not to question the teachings of our parents. After all, they are the ones who clothe, house and feed us during our formative years. In some societies questioning your parents/elders can result in disciplinary actions including banishment from the family. Since we are sometimes taught not to question beliefs and values, we have no choice but to become “brainwashed” to the teachings…right or wrong. For the most part, our parents teach us what they were taught. Therefore, the initial beliefs and values we learn are largely based on where and how you were raised.

However, that does not necessarily mean you will adopt and strictly adhere to the teachings from your parents. There are clear examples of people converting from one religion to another, choosing science based evidence over theological teachings, and/or abandoning what they were taught by their parents. While I have no scientific proof, I can only surmise the reason people are dedicated to a particular religion, spend their lives helping others or join extremist groups is first rooted in early exposure and second, based on formative, life events. Otherwise, how does one explain suicide bombing?

So I guess the message here is, right or wrong to the viewpoint and opinion of others, we make decisions based on what we believe to be truth…..no matter the consequence.

“You were involved in a motor vehicle accident on March 6, 1979 at 5:53pm. You were alone in the vehicle, no one in other vehicle was injured…” This is the note that was on my chest when I awoke in a hospital bed at Millard Fillmore Hospital in Amherst, NY on March 8, 1979. Suffering from short term memory loss, I could not recall the accident or how I ended up in the hospital. That took close to three years. What I came to remember is I was a junior at the University of Buffalo and was helping coach winter track at Williamsville East High School. That evening I was heading to the awards dinner and sitting at a light when I was hit from behind.

I remember looking up at my rear view mirror and saw a car coming at me at a very high rate of speed. The next thing I know my car is in the intersection and I have blood streaming from my forehead. I get out of the car in a daze and amazingly, an Amherst police officer was on the scene immediately. He came up to me and asked to see my license, registration and insurance card. Honestly, I don’t remember if I ever produced those documents. The woman who hit me came walking up and the officer asked her what happened. She said “I guess I wasn’t paying attention”.

Side note, she was intoxicated and not a scratch on her. That could have been because she was driving an El Dorado and I was in a ’69 Chevelle. Both were solid cars and she put my bumper in my back seat. With a stroke of luck the head rest was up which probably saved my life. When she struck my vehicle my forehead hit the steering wheel and the recoil was so great my head snapped back against the head rest which save me from breaking my neck. It didn’t hurt that I had a 19 inch neck at the time.

The office told me to have a seat in his squad car. I was surprised by this and responded “I didn’t do anything wrong, she hit me.” He was extremely patient and responded “I think you may have a concussion”. I started to say I was fine and remember beginning to fall. The office caught me and while I was in and out of consciousness I remember him putting me in the back of his squad car and the sound of the sirens as he rushed me to Millard Fillmore Hospital. Immediately upon arrival the ER Staff put me on a gurney and started checking me for injuries. Laying on the gurney with the ER as a backdrop, I recall seeing a beautiful nurse who looked like an angel with her long blonde hair and bright light around her head. That was the last thing I remember before waking up.

Within seconds of my awakening, the staff rushed in and started checking vital signs. I was in a daze and kept looking at the note on my chest and asking what happened. But because of the short term memory, I kept forgetting what I had just been told. I was frustrating one of the nurses because I kept asking what time it was and she kept responding “I just told you”.

Later that day a young man walked into the room and started talking to me. After about 15 minutes he asked me if I knew who he was and I responded not a clue. Turns out he was my roommate (Ed). What I also didn’t remember at the time was Ed and I had a pretty intense argument just before I left the dorm for the banquet. It was about the amount of time his girlfriend was spending in our room. Pretty silly.

I was eventually released and returned to the dorm. I tried to resume with my classes but everything from the semester was lost. The professors were extremely supportive of my situation and went above and beyond to help me succeed.

Eventually the details of the accident returned and I began thinking about that angelic, blonde nurse working in the ER. It just so happens our team doctor was on staff at the hospital and I asked him if he could find out who that nurse was in the ER. He did some investigating and said he spoke with everyone who was on duty in the ER and they did not have a blonde nurse on duty that evening and I must have been dreaming. To this day I believe she was my guardian angel.

On this 40th anniversary of my rebirth day, a shout out to the Amherst police officer who was first on the scene (I apologize I do not know his name), the ER and hospital staff who were nothing short than amazing, my professors at UB, and of course, my guardian angel.

Thank you all for your incredible support!

Before I share this opinion, I apologize in advance to anyone who may become offended.  It is certainly not my intent.  Simply put, I do not understand the fascination (or addiction) to cell phones and the incessant need to react immediately upon receipt of a message or email.  It might be my age or because other than LinkedIn I do not participate in social media.  With no scientific evidence whatsoever, I can only equate the reaction to dings, beeps, rings or other sounds to an experiment conducted in or around 1889.  If you are not familiar with the study, Google Pavlov.

What is unsettling is the fact people have become conditioned to respond immediately whether operating a vehicle (any type), walking, jogging, exercising, eating, relaxing (?), etc., the list goes on and on.

Every day I see people of all makes and models trying to read or respond to some type of message while driving. Of course I cannot say these people are dumb because I have seen some really “smart” people demonstrate this exact behavior. I thought about just calling them stupid then realized that would be insulting. Therefore, I have come to see this as people doing some really stupid things. Woof.

I was at a restaurant last week and a couple sat across from me.  They paid little attention to each other (if any) as they were buried in whatever extremely urgent and cannot live without update that was coming across on their phones.  It was bad enough they did not silence their phones and downright rude when they answered calls. All I kept thinking was there is a relationship with little hope. Woof.

So why has the vast majority of people succumbed to this annoying and incredibly dangerous behavior? Is it they feel they are immune to the potential dangers or just plain ignorant? Last summer we hosted a BBQ and had a delightful mix of people ranging in age from mid teens to mid 80’s. I was sitting with one of the more elderly folks and a couple of people significantly younger people (by at least 50 years) and we were enjoying a delightful conversation about summer activities. All of a sudden a phone beeped and one of the younger people pulled out the phone and started typing and sharing the message with a couple of his friends. Back and forth the beeps kept coming. Finally, the older woman said to the young man “Put that stupid phone away! We are having an adult conversation and you are being extremely disrespectful!” This was priceless because I fully believe it was the first time anyone had admonished this young man for his behavior. He turned bright red and to his credit he apologized.

News Flash:  99% of the tweets, twits, chits, chats, snaps, snips, snipes, instawhatever, emails, etc. are not life threatening and therefore can wait.  So, little puppies, while driving or engaging with another human (face to face), please set your phone aside. Ideally when driving one would keep the phone in the computer bag, hand bag or glove box or here is a novel idea turn it off! While I can’t say 100% of the messages are NOT important, I can say 100% of the people’s lives in the other vehicles take precedence. Woof Woof!

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